"You bring a whole new meaning to 'out of service.'"
"You're the reason they put directions on shampoo bottles."
"Somewhere, there's a village missing its idiot."
"You're proof that common sense isn't so common."
"Your thinking process is like a hamster on a wheel… but the hamster's napping."
"If clueless was an Olympic sport, you'd have a trophy case."
"You're like a screen door on a submarine—interesting but not helpful."
"You're living proof that natural selection has a sense of humor."
"I admire your dedication to being wrong."
"You're so special, they had to invent a new scale to measure it."
"You're not the sharpest tool in the shed."
"Your elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor."
"You’d argue with a mirror and still lose."
"The lights are on, but it’s more like a flickering bulb."
"Some people brighten a room when they enter; you brighten it when you leave."
"You have a black belt in missing the point."
"If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your hat off."
"You're like a software update nobody asked for—slow and unnecessary."
"Thinking might not be your strong suit, but at least you're consistent."
"You’d lose a debate with a paper bag."
"You’ve got two settings: wrong and not even close."
"You’re like a broken GPS… always recalculating but never finding the route."
"You could talk for hours and still not reach a point."
"You're like a Wi-Fi signal in the mountains—weak and unreliable."
"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive."
"Your brain's like a Teflon pan—nothing sticks."
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